Ghafir 40:3

 I'll forgive but I'll never forget what you did. 

Aku maafkan kau tapi aku takkan lupakan apa yang ko buat kat aku.

Sometimes being human, we have the tendency to forgive but not forget. Simpan dalam hati, pikul atas bahu, kekadang bertahun-tahun lamanya. It's heavy on the shoulder, even heavier on the chest. 

Bila direnung ayat 3 Surah Al-Ghafir ni, rasa malu sendiri, malu dengan Allah especially.

Yang Mengampunkan dosa, dan Yang Menerima taubat; Yang Berat azabNya; Yang Melimpah-limpah kurniaNya; tiada Tuhan melainkan Dia; kepadaNyalah tempat kembali. (40:3)

Berapa banyaknya kesalahan; 

betapa besarnya dosa ngan Allah;

tapi Allah tutup dosa kita, Allah lindung aib kita;

Allah delete dosa-dosa kita from the database; 

Allah kosongkan the Recycle Bin for us. 

Tapi kita ni (huhuu...aku lah tu), find it really hard, difficult giler to forgive, to forget and let go off the past. Nyanyi cam Elsa Let it go..let it go..pun belum guarantee boleh forgive & forget. 

Ya Ghaffur ..help us find the strength to not only memaafkan sesama sendiri, but also melupakan those who wronged us. 

May you (Allah) in return,  forgive all our sins and accept our repentances. 

Aamiin

NOTES:

Ghafir, meaning "The All-Forgiving" (referring to God). 

Also known as Al-Muʼmin, "The Believer

40th chapter (sūrah) of the Qur'an, with 85 verses (āyāt)

Heightened Self Awareness

Self awareness, one of the five aspects in EQ. Goleman, guru of EQ, defines it as the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others.

I think I am having a heightened state of self awareness. 

I can feel my left eye twitching; 

my right wrist is kinda numb;

feeling little bit chilly even with the slowest speed of fan.

And it's heavy on the shoulder and the heart.
I felt it both physically and emotionally. 

It's more than an ouch-it-hurts.

Hmm.. 

I Wish I Were ..

I wish I were..
a kid who is worry free

I wish I were
a 6-year old who only cares if he has a Vitagen to drink

I wish I were

a 6-year old who does not mind being smelly and sweaty

I wish I were
a boy who is not camera shy at all

I wish I were
the innocent one who cries for the simplest excuses

I wish I were ..

NOTE:  actually I don't have to be a kid to be all that :)