Crossing Borders (Literally and figuratively speaking)

The long awaited break was finally here! And a 4-day break means holidays. And holidays mean we are crossing the border.  Not the southern Malaysia border, but the usual northern side of Malaysia-Thailand border, which I have not set foot in the last 6 months.

We seldom ran into fellow Malaysians on our back-packing-cum-eating-cum-beach-strolling-snorkeling trip. Perhaps I didn't recognize my fellow country men cos Malaysians and Siams are not that easy to differentiate from the looks. Surprise, surprise we ran into some during this trip.

I was very occupied trying to relate what E.Gilbert is saying in her Eat-Pray-Love. I saw them as they hopped off the van, but I did not notice anything unique about the 2 families, except for the Coach purses that the 2 mid-twenties sisters were carrying. These families were also waiting for the Lipeh-boat transfer to Ko Tarutao/Adang/Lipe.

Then I heard some familiar words and tones the 2 fathers used in an above-average-loudness of conversations. I do not speak Hokkien yet I know that was (indeed) Hokkien dialect, commonly spoken by Chinese in Penang. (bet you know that already!)

Then I saw the Ang Mor Gao - Hokkien for "red haired monkey", which actually refers to Caucasians - with the 2 mid-twenties sisters. I am no expert in reading people's body languages or behaviors. Nonetheless, anyone sitting there paying enough attention aka observing them would reach the same conclusion as I did. Oh yes, he's the boyfriend (or fiance) of one of the 2 sisters. My bet - the Ang Mor guy is with the elder sister.

Then I noticed they communicated in English, mostly, even among their own family members. At times the father spoke to the mother and 2 sisters in Hokkien. Bet my last dollar that the Ang Mor guy is just like me, Hokkien-illiterate.

Then I could not help but wonder how does Mr Ang Mor handles it. I do not mean about having a partner who is not Caucasian by origin. It is a common sight nowadays to see inter-racial couples in Malaysia. Chinese-Indian couples;  Malay-Chinese couples; Ang Mor-Chinese/Malay/Indian. Nothing peculiar about it, just that I salute those who dare to take that step, crossing borders of cultures, languages, races, religions and what not. Not forgetting the inherited challenge since one party is from Mars while the other is from Venus. 

Despite having a significant others who share the same common language, religion and racial background, I find that both of us are still working out our differences- communication styles, emotional needs, personal preferences, and many others. More often than not one of us would take the defensive measure of just yessing to the other person.

This trip nudges my emotion and triggers a thought that while we are crossing the international borders, we are still bridging our emotional-martian-venusian borders.

When we risk crossing the international borders, we would encounter the excitements of trying new things, experiencing a not-so-familiar-almost-alien culture, meeting new people, pampering our taste buds with new dishes, etc. And most often than not, we were also not sparred from hassles and troubles. The agony of waiting for the never-on-time-speed-boats; the pain to wear the same brassier for days when the luggage didn't land on the same airport we landed. Similarly, when we courage ourselves to take that step to cross the border from being-significantly-alone to the having-significant-others, we adventure a shared-life stretching from the moments of oh-how-I-love-you to times to times when we feel damn-how-I-wish-am-alone. And just like crossing the international borders, we learn to appreciate the differences, learn to tolerate & manage give-and-take, most important of all learn to value the moments, no matter how good or how bad they are. After all, we have made that choice to cross the borders (I mean that both literally and figuratively speaking)